just me...

rituals...

2009-11-03T17:52:51Z

I am slowly, but surely, learning the importance of having rituals to remember my late brother. He passed away 6/5/06 after a 7 year battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis. Yesterday was his birthday.

Greg's favorite birthday dinner was steak, baked potato and apple pie (no cake) for dessert. My husband and I have kept up this tradition every year on his birthday, as have my parents. This being the 4th birthday without him, the day almost seemed like another holiday that we celebrate. We made sure to have steak, potato and even though we somehow forgot the apple pie, we celebrated the happy memories of Greg (aka "Snooze"). In past years, we would watch his favorite movie, "The Cutting Edge", but since the New Orleans Saints were playing, we felt Greg would be okay with us watching football

The moral of the story? Even though life may throw tragedy in your way, you don't have to dwell on the sad times. Time DOES heal your wounds...and rituals help.

Even if it's something as simple as steak, potato, apple pie...and "The Cutting Edge"...any small ritual helps you cope and move on to the happy times

happy monday:)

2009-07-13T14:46:07Z

had a nice quite weekend with Bill...

I finally feel ready to start running again...I am getting the itch to train for another race...maybe the Mardi Gras half-marathon?? I bought a new pair of running shoes as my latest pair was hurting. Turns out my feet have grown another 1/2 size! I have gone from a 9.5 to a 10! Granted I am 5'6"so people don't really notice my big feet. But it makes finding shoes rather difficult. Oh, well, just one more thing to make me unique :)

Cameron is doing great, only two more weeks of camp with us and then he's going to his grandmother's house (Ned's mom) for a week.

I have already bought our Harry Potter tickets, we are very excited about the new movie! I am sure a lot has been cut out of the book, but it has been 4 years since I read it, so I probably won't notice.

I got my hair cut chin length yesterday due to the insane heat and humidity here. Living in 100+ degree heat with insane humidity is tough...I miss Barton Springs Pool. We had pretty much spent the past three summers going there in the afternoons after work. New Orleans just does not have anything like that.

Bree is coming to visit us Friday night with her dog, Manny. I am looking forward to seeing Bree and finally meeting Manny. I am not sure she realizes how much I love dogs. Well, all animals actually. I was the kid who would have stayed at the riding stables all day not just riding horses but playing with the dogs and cats (had my parents let me, mind you).

that's about it for now...

back in the land of the living...

2009-07-09T15:09:45Z

So, Bill and I have been back in the New Orleans area for almost two months now and I hope to have a job offer by the end of this week.

The month of June was pretty much hell as I had an awful summer cold that lasted about two weeks. Then Jesse gave us a scare as she had a Grand Mal seizure the night before Father's Day. So, Father's Day went from a happy BBQ with the family to a frantic trip up to Jackson, MS to see Jesse in the hospital. Mind you, Jesse had the seizure Saturday night, but her mom did not call Bill until Sunday afternoon. I mean, really? If anything like that had happened to Cameron, I would have called Ned immediately and vice versa. Jesse seems to be fine though. Apparantly, her doctor was not surprised she had the seizure. And, after talking to the doctor and people we know who have had Petit Mal seizures, the doctor mentioned that she could have had small seizures over the past few years, but they may have been too small for her mom to notice. The hard part is that this is now something else Jesse has to deal with, poor kid, she has been through enough already.

Cameron is wonderful, he is really enjoying summer camp. His dad was a jerk the first few weeks we were back in town, but he has settled down...when I don't let him see me get upset, he backs off. Ned still gets off on pushing my buttons and as I don't let him see me get upset and I am always civiland mature when talking to him, it drives him nuts, but he always backs off. Basically, Ned didn't want Cameron to spend the summer with me again. He said, "There is no reason for Cameron to spend the summer with you when his family and friends are here". WTF?? We now live 40minutes away and have told Cameron that he can have a friend over anytime he wants and he has been at his dad's house almost every weekend since the summer started. Cameron loves camp so much that he is talking about future summers there and how he could be a CIT, then a counselor. (I also think there may be a girlfriend there, but Cameron denies this!)

My job hunt has been stressful. The colleges are not hiring in my field, and while I applied for a few other positions at Tulane and Loyola that I was qualified for, I never made it past the phone interview. I had a few other interviews for entry-level HR positions, but my career services experience is not enough. There is just too much competition out there. I did apply for a Claims Adjuster Trainee position with a large insurance company and I should find out the final word by tomorrow. It would be a pay cut, but oculd be a good career. My ex has been an adjuster for 14 years and back when we were married, his company tried to recruit me a few times, but we had decided we did not want to work for the same company. This would be an inside adjuster position, so I would not have to be out in the car all day. I would have regular hours and a decent salary. Plus, everyone I met when I went in for my interview had been there at least 10 years...soa very stable place to be. And, as a claims rep, I would most likely always have a job as people will always have accidents. I will be able to do something with my 15+ years of work experience.

There are times I have wondered what would have happened if I became an engineer or an accountant. It would have been a very linear career path. I was a History major in college because I had no idea what I wanted to do and my parents pretty much made me go to college. I am grateful for the education, but even now, I know I was not ready to go to college...even after 4 years at an exclusive college prep school. It's the one thing prep schools didn't stress enough...career planning. I think had I had some direction, I might not be going into a third career before the age of 40!

I have missed Live Journal and I think Twitter and Facebook are mainly the reason...those two things are such a HUGE distraction!

headache today

2009-05-06T20:53:25Z

So i woke up late and since I'm sleeping in Cameron's room, I'm not sleeping well...
We got rid of our bed as there is a super nice antique one waiting for us in New orleans.

cameron's bed is a bunk bed...very heavy wood too.

I overslept this morning and sat up a little too fast...then smacked my forhead on the top rails...that freakin' hurt!

So the first thing I am going to do this evening is take the top bed off so that doesn't happen again.

I am also going to repost some furniture items on craigslist that have not yet sold, anyone need or know anyone that needs the following items:

Large sofa (about 12+ years old, nice except the style is about mid 1990's) $40
Entertainment center...very large and HEAVY $60
Bookcase (kinda nice, good for a dorm room really or garage storage $10
coffee table (very nice square glass table!) $20

This is stuff that will get donated to charity if it does not sell, and I think I've priced items low enough that a young college grad could outfit themselves with some new furniture for pretty cheap :)

one month to go...

2009-04-28T21:53:05Z

Okay, the semester has pretty much ended and I have one month left in Austin before moving back to New Orleans...Bill and I have done/seen a lot while here and I know we have probably missed something.

But, with one month left, is there any Austin activity/event/restaurant that I should try/experience before I leave?

knee issues

2009-02-25T15:27:37Z

so it appears I need to go see an orthopedic dr for my knee. After justa few minutes of light freestyle with barely any kicking, my knee was throbbing...grrr.

I am not sure I want to go see a PT and then have them tell me I need to go to an orthopedic doc.

So, to my Austin friends, who do you reccommend? I've already left a message with my regular doc to get a referral, although I don't think my ins requires that I have one, it is just nice to see if the doc reccommends anyone.

argh...too much pain...

better day...

2009-02-24T19:59:32Z

so far, today is going much better than yesterday.

Happy Mardi Gras everyone!

I seem to be doing allthe right things today...guess I was just having a case of the monday's yesterday :)

I am finally getting back in the pool today to start swimming. Still no running for me though, the knee needs physical therapy. Once the semester calms down in April, I will start that up and see how bad the damamge is.

Cheers and have a safe and happy Mardi Gras!

help!

2009-01-15T15:25:24Z

ok, so I am on the committee for my 20th high school reunion. Don't ask me how I got this job...I was asked and why, I have not idea.

Anyway, I have to write a rough draft of an invitation to email to the committee today. I have NO IDEA where to start.

Any ideas?????

WOW

2008-10-30T02:57:23Z

Watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtREqAmLsoA

I've already voted, and it was secret ballot...so I've tried to stay out of political discussions.

I found this "infomercial" very very interesting.

funny

2008-10-28T15:58:36Z

I think it's funny that Live Journal is "Undead Journal" this week!

fastest run ever

2008-10-08T14:07:04Z

For me anyway...I ran 12.5 miles in 2:30 last night. I was really going fast. But the weather was great, every now and then there would be this awesome breeze and I would really pick up my pace. I hope this nice weather stays with us at least until the marathon. then it can do whatever it wants!

in other news...

2008-10-08T14:04:44Z

my wicked long hair!

While I have a lot of hair, it is still very thin and fine. I am thinking I will donate it after the marathon in November as I have really liked braiding it for my long runs

ugh

2008-08-11T04:12:24Z

can't sleep.

two years today

2008-06-05T15:38:54Z

miss you

2008-06-05T13:39:40Z

meep

window treatment help needed!

2008-06-03T18:52:07Z

okay, so the new place has these really cool windows in Cameron's room:

There are two issues: 1-there are no blinds, so light and heat get into this room. With the heat we've been having, this room just does not cool off, even with the fan on high and the a/c running. 2-while they are very cool looking, we have no idea what kind of window coverings to get. We really don't want to break the bank, but it would be nice for Cameron if the sun was not shining in from 6 am until almost 9 pm.

back in town

2008-06-02T21:40:03Z

i am back in austin after a very long, but awesome conference. It was really nice to stay in the French Quarter as a tourist.

I want to read my friend's page, but after a day of catching up on emails, it may have to wait until tomorrow.

updates...

2008-05-20T18:52:46Z

of which there really are not that many...I like it when life is somewhat normal!

We are moved into the new apartment. It's nice, but the company that did the upgrades did a sloppy job and they are having to come back this week to fix everything. I do wish that we were in a position to be buying a house instead of still renting. But, all in due time...hopefully within the next two years. Neither of us really believe in buying a house zero down and with the mortgage problems going on, we would rather wait a few more years, have a decent down payment and do the conventional loan...it just seems to make sense.

I do have some pictures of the new place and once I get them from the camera to the computer, I'll put them on here...it is pretty.

There is a subdivision across the street from us that's cute. Older, but cute. And we have a very interesting neighbor there as well. Someone has a rooster. So, at 6 am on Sunday morning, we heard the rooster giving the world it's wake up call. Neither of us really ever sleep in, and now we never will...at least as long as we live in this place. All you can do is laugh, right?

The really cool part is that I just walk across the street to catch the bus to work. Very cool.

Bill and I are headed into Louisiana this weekend. Then I am staying the rest of the week next week for a conference. I could not turn down a free trip to the French Quarter. And, no I will most likely not be on Bourbon Street at all. But, Central Grocery's muffalettas are calling my name, and Magazine Street Po-Boy has a roast beef po-boy with my name on it (add a barq's and I'm in heaven!)

So, other than that, it's just been unpacking and deciding where things go and setting aside stuff for Goodwill/Freecycle or stuff that needs to be thrown away.

need opinions!

2008-05-15T18:57:53Z

ok, so i have this piece of furniture (the top piece): I lost the bottom half in katrina and have held onto the top piece hoping to find a matching bottom. Well, almost 3 years later, I have not found anything. That's 3 years of searching antique stores, craigslist, ebay...you name it.

Well, the other day I got a Crate and Barrel catalog in the mail and saw this:

( website is: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=1210&f=22297 )

I found many websites that sell "furniture feet" and could easily transform what I have into something pretty cool.

thoughts??

email from the Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation!

2008-05-15T16:31:07Z

Here's an email I got from the Foundation after I called to find out about our total donation amounts:

____________________________________________________________________________________
Hello Rebecca,

Thanks for contacting the Foundation.

So sorry about your brother. Thank you for wanting to help raise awareness and much needed money to fund research to find a cure. I like your website! Every breath IS a gift.

What an accomplishment on finishing those runs! Wow!

I've attached a list of folks that have donated in his name. The total as of today including the Active donations is $2500.00.

If you need anything further, please don't hesitate to get in touch with us.

Sincerely,

Leanne Storch

Executive Assistant & Patient Advocate

Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation

1332 N. Halsted, Suite 201

Chicago, IL 60622

www.pulmonaryfibrosis.org

312.587.9272 P

312.587.9273 F

It takes your breath away
__________________________________________________________________

realizing how great i have it...

2008-05-07T15:37:21Z

What is "it"? My life, maybe?

I took a long weekend and went to spend some quality time with my son in Louisiana where he lives with his dad for the school year.

The first day, we had a parent-teacher conference as Cameron has been having trouble copying from the board. Apparantly, he's got a visual discrimination problem. Ned is taking him back to the eye doctor next week as there is a test to officially determine that he does or does not have this.

The funny part about the meeting was that I was taking notes, asking questions...all related to Cameron and how to help him. His dad talked about himself the entire time and tried to monopolize the conversation. I almost couldn't believe it. but then again, this is Ned...he really does believe the world should give him all the attention.

Cameron then had a baseball game, which they lost, but Cameron got a run so he was pleased. The team had practice Friday night...in the pouring rain. Needless to say, i put Cameron in the bathtub the second we got back to the house. The rain cleared in time for his game on Saturday. And , oh lucky me, I got to sit with Ned's wife and her two daughters. Mind you, Denise is mostly polite and her girls have always been friendly to me. I have also learned to just let her talk and she'll pretty much spill anything.

So, we're sitting there and she is going on and on about how Ned is always worried about money. I remember him being like this. He is always worried the sky is falling. And yet, the bills are paid, there is money in savings, food on the table and a comfortable house. Well, he gets aftr her about getting her hair done and buying makeup and was so upset one night that he said to her, "You are just like my ex wife!". Um, I don't care who you are, that is a horrible thing to say. the funny part, is I never spent what she spends on hair and makeup. I'm pretty frugal actually..even when I was married to Ned. But seriously, I can't believe he would say something like that. Wait...I can believe it.

What that conversation showed me was that in 7 years...he has not changed for the better like he claims. He is still the abusive control freak he has always been. Not that I had ever doubted my decision to leave him, but had sometimes wondered "what if?"...especially when living on my tiny Tulane salary left me hungry most months. After listening to Denise, I will never have that thought again.

My birthday was Sunday and it was also the day for Cameron's birthday party. Ned and Denise did one party for all three kids, since their birthdays are relatively close to one another. I watched...along with everyone else at the party...as Ned snapped at Denise left and right. I caught a glimpse of what my life would have been like if I had stayed with him. It was freaky. I saw what I probably looked like when he and I were together.

I felt more and more blessed to be where I am in life. I have a son who adores me, even if he only sees me once a month, occaisional holidays and 8 weeks in the summer. Cameron knows he is loved and that I would drop everything to be with him if he asked. I had the joy of meeting Jesse and getting to kow her before she got sick. And, I have the kind of career that will let me leave to be with my step-daughter, son, husband, parents, etc if they are sick and/or need my help. I have a husband who loves and respects me. And I love and respect him. We are honest with each other and don't need to insult each other.

My best birthday present ever...realizing that I have a pretty great life...

...I hope I never take it for granted.

To my angel...

2008-04-15T14:49:13Z

Happy Birthday Cameron...you are my angel, my miracle and you will always be my baby...love, mom

And I didn't forget

2008-04-14T16:37:57Z

meep.

update on Every Breath is a Gift campaign

2008-03-14T16:36:44Z

I didn't realize I had not posted an update on Live Journal yet.

We've hit over $1100 in donations!

When I started on this journey last Spring, I really had no idea what would happen, if it would even become a reality. But we are at 11% of our goal. THIS IS HUGE!

For those of you that are my friends on Facebook, you can join the cause there and invite your friends to join the cause...and of course donate if you can. Even if it's just $5 or $10, it helps, trust me. If you are not on Facebook, here's my online donation page: http://www.active.com/donate/everybreathisagift

And, if you mail a donation, send it to:

The Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation
c/o The Gregory J. Blake Memorial Fund
1332 North Halsted Street
Suite 201
Chicago, IL 60622

The cool thing about the memorial fund is that all the money donated goes towards research. Pulmonary Fibrosis is very real and more widespread than people realize. over 40,000 people die every year...most die while waiting for a lung transplant, which can give them more time with their loved ones. It gave us another 13 months with Greg and we value that time so much.

THANK YOU to everyone here on LJ that has helped spread the word and made a donation, it means the world to myself and my parents that this is going to happen!

ps...a HUGE hug and thank you to my wonderful husband who has been so very supportive of this project! you're the best!

hmmm...

2008-03-03T16:28:44Z

You Have Good Manners 87% of the Time

You manners are perfect. You always carry yourself with class.

You know how to be considerate toward everyone - even if they aren't considerate to you.

How Are Your Manners?